Journey to the Moon

Things have been crazy since the birth of our Miss Hannah-Joie. Crazy good and crazy bad. She is delicious! She is probably the most beautiful baby I have ever seen, but the crying, oh the crying. From the day she was born, I noticed that her tongue was a bit different and her latch was short and a bit painful. We tried to work through that. Finally, at about 3 weeks we saw a lactation consultant that explained that Hannah had a class 4 Tongue tie and a Posterior tongue tie. ( www.kiddsteeth.com) Someone believed me at last! And I only felt about half crazy. The real journey started after the diagnosis. And quite frankly, it's kinda sucky. At 7 weeks and 2 days, we made the agonizing decision to laser my sweet baby girl's lip and tongue. I thought that was the hard part. I was wrong. The stretches, oh , those nasty stretches. It consists of lifting her upper lip until it touches her nostrils for 3 seconds , 3 times. Next, since her mouth is wide open from screaming, you have to push and pull her tongue up , 10 times. This happens 4 times a day. 4 TIMES A DAY! And she cries, and my heart breaks, and then I cry with her. All of this in the hopes that the ties do not "reattach". Reattach.....did you ever think that word would be so scary? I didn't either. But now the word sends shakes of fear to the very core of my soul. To my very heart. And I cry. And I cry . And I cry. And I fret.....did I make the right decision? Should we have let her deal with the painful gas and colic? Should I have waited until my supply dried up? All the while, my heart is screaming YOU HAVE TO TRUST GOD. I think I do. But maybe, if I'm honest, I'm afraid of that too. Afraid that He forgot about me. Afraid that my sweet baby is being made to suffer because I made a bad decision. Afraid that if I don't do everything right, that she will "reattach."So I have to trust God. He loved her enough to save her once. Won't He do it again? He loved her enough to send His ONLY son....He delivered her soul, won't He deliver her from this too? My head is not a fun and pleasant place to be these days. I am emotionally and physically pushed to the brink every single day. I live in fear and anxiety, every single day. I can't control it. I pray. I speak blessing. But in the dark corners of my broken heart, I am still a scared little girl. And I need God. I need Him to show up. I need the burning bush. I need the whisper in my soul that reminds me that I am loved and that Hannah belongs much more to Him than me. I share this journey with you all so that you will pray for my sweet baby. That she will be whole. That she will not reattach. That her pain, her continuous pain would be eased. That people would see the healing power of God through her. That she would nurse well . Blessings to you all. May the love of Christ keep you all!